So, first, let me apologize for being late with this blog. I vowed to have a new one each Sunday and obviously I did not. Unfortunately, life got in my way and hit me like a two by four.
So, let's talk about the gym. I have not been a gym enthusiast, ever, in my life. I have been to the gym lots and even joined a few. All I remember about gyms when I was younger was the big belt that would hook around your ass and then the machine would just jiggle you. Apparently in those days it was thought you could jiggle the weight away. I'm pretty sure that didn't happen. Then we had Jane Fonda and all the aerobics videos and classes. I never went to the classes. I didn't have any leg warmers.
So now, I am losing weight and it is clear that I need a gym to get the fat gone and get some tone. According to my trainer I need to start losing fat and gaining muscle. So off I headed to find a gym. It didn't take me long to find a cheap one. I didn't want pools and saunas and classes and stuff. Just machines. So Fitness 19 filled the bill and I paid my fee and there I was. The thing is, I don't have gym clothes. So when I went in for my first appointment I was happy to see that this was an actual working gym and not a place to look pretty while you ogled and got ogled in return. Now my last gym experience was about 10 years ago with a very well known gym and that's why you went. So, I was happy to start working out in my Gay Days t-shirt from Disneyland Gay Days in 2009 that has really seen better days. But its comfortable and so are my old tennies that should be retired but I keep them because they are comfortable as well.
So the gym guy took me around and showed me all the machines. When I started using them I was extremely happy to find out that I wasn't in as bad a shape as I had thought and did pretty well. I have been going three times a week and have started to notice a big difference. Most of the difference is in the pain I feel each day, but I am also noticing a lot of changes. My posture has improved dramatically from all the cardio I do. I walk faster and don't get winded as soon as I used to. I can also climb a flight of stairs with almost no recovery time to get my breathing back to normal. All good things.
One surprising thing that I discovered is that I enjoy the gym. I like the weights and the treadmill. What I don't like is actually getting up and going. I don't care what day it is, I will find some excuse not to go. So far, I have made myself go anyway. I'm very proud of myself for that. I am also thisclose to the 30 pound mark! One more pound to go.
I have made so many changes in three months and I feel pretty good about that. Now the next thing is to dump my Dr. Pepper addiction. I don't drink coffee so one large Dr. Pepper from McDonald's every morning is my shot of caffeine. I do realize I need to give it up, but I'm just not ready to right now.
Next blog I talk about what it is like NOT to eat the cake someone gets you for your birthday.
See you next time!
Diva
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Judgmental Twat
I was going to write about the gym this week, but I'm going to put that off for another week and address something that happened to me last week. A good friend invited me out to dinner. Now, when you are "dieting" or eating healthy or whatever, going out to dinner can be a land mine. So many ways to screw up all the good stuff you've done. She really wanted to go to the Golden Corral; that is a gigantic buffet here in Sacramento. It is all buffets rolled into one. There is seafood, steak, pizza, Mexican, a bakery, just tons of food. Now, I knew that I would need to be a little careful in there. I hadn't been to a buffet since last Easter so I was very nervous going in and I had every right to be. Once we entered, it was like a switch wanted to click on that started the food frenzy. I was very good at keeping it off and walked right by all the food to our table. I was kicking that fat girl hard, keeping her locked away. I quickly scanned everything and while walking to the table decided what I would and would not eat.
I told my friend to go and get her food first and I waited at the table, people watching, of course. As I did, I recognized my old self in all these people sitting in the restaurant. I watched them getting their food, fat person after fat person walking by, plates piled high. Huffing and puffing as they walked by. I have to say that I suddenly became so embarrassed. I was being so judgmental about everyone! Of all people, I should know how hard it is to kick the unhealthy eating habit so why was I being so hard on everyone else? I mean, seriously, I had only been doing this for 3 months and I was putting forward all this crap in my head about being so much better than all of them because I was eating healthy and they weren't. Well, aren't I a big, fucking deal, right? WRONG!
As I sat there, I realized that I had broken this cycle for me. Even though my first instinct was to grab a plate and start piling on the food, I didn't. I was able to stop that feeling in its tracks. I realized that was a major step in overcoming the fat girl I had been all my life. When my friend came back, I got up and got my plate. I ate a small steak, asparagus, cabbage, 1/2 of a baked potato and watermelon. I felt a bit guilty for my friend spending money for a buffet that was obviously wasted on me and then I started to to laugh at myself. THE BUFFET WAS WASTED ON ME! I'm breaking down my triggers one at a time and now I know I can be at a buffet and not be the fat girl.
I'm very excited to see what else I'm going to defeat, but I got a bit of a life lesson that night. I am one decision away from being that person again. One wrong decision from screwing up all the work I've done so far. Maybe that is what was happening to some of those people, they made a decision and now they are working hard to be better or they are just plain happy with who they are. I, mean, who am I judge?
Next time - Fat girl in a gym. WATCH OUT!
I told my friend to go and get her food first and I waited at the table, people watching, of course. As I did, I recognized my old self in all these people sitting in the restaurant. I watched them getting their food, fat person after fat person walking by, plates piled high. Huffing and puffing as they walked by. I have to say that I suddenly became so embarrassed. I was being so judgmental about everyone! Of all people, I should know how hard it is to kick the unhealthy eating habit so why was I being so hard on everyone else? I mean, seriously, I had only been doing this for 3 months and I was putting forward all this crap in my head about being so much better than all of them because I was eating healthy and they weren't. Well, aren't I a big, fucking deal, right? WRONG!
As I sat there, I realized that I had broken this cycle for me. Even though my first instinct was to grab a plate and start piling on the food, I didn't. I was able to stop that feeling in its tracks. I realized that was a major step in overcoming the fat girl I had been all my life. When my friend came back, I got up and got my plate. I ate a small steak, asparagus, cabbage, 1/2 of a baked potato and watermelon. I felt a bit guilty for my friend spending money for a buffet that was obviously wasted on me and then I started to to laugh at myself. THE BUFFET WAS WASTED ON ME! I'm breaking down my triggers one at a time and now I know I can be at a buffet and not be the fat girl.
I'm very excited to see what else I'm going to defeat, but I got a bit of a life lesson that night. I am one decision away from being that person again. One wrong decision from screwing up all the work I've done so far. Maybe that is what was happening to some of those people, they made a decision and now they are working hard to be better or they are just plain happy with who they are. I, mean, who am I judge?
Next time - Fat girl in a gym. WATCH OUT!
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Vegetarian
I am actually not a vegetarian. I do enjoy many vegetarian meals, but I am certainly never giving up meat. My favorite is steak. I could eat a well cooked steak every day. Alas, financial circumstances have left me with no way to purchase steak. Even chicken is more expensive now so I don't even eat too much of that. So mostly we eat turkey burger. Well, my children do.
Unfortunately, most lower income people are fat because of the food they can afford to buy. Hamburger Helper, lots of pasta and rice; these are easy and inexpensive meals. Right after I went back to work (I got laid of from a rather high paying job and now work for less that 1/3 of my former salary) we could barely afford to buy food for the two week pay period. We ate very unhealthy food. So I tried to compensate by eating smaller portions. That worked for a bit, but the food was still very unhealthy. I couldn't buy any fresh veggies. It was almost 6 months before I was able to taste a fresh tomato.
Recently, my daughter wanted to try vegetarianism and I wanted to help her so I tried with her. I already loved a great many vegetable dishes and routinely ate soy burgers and veggie burgers. So, it wasn't too hard for me. I started by substituting vegetables in things like spaghetti sauce. Broccoli and zucchini pretty much go well in everything.Then I began to look for other things. Unfortunately, processed food helps a little. There is a lot of sodium in it, but it works ok for me right now. I bought boxes and boxes of rice a roni. Yes, rice a roni. Right before it would finish cooking I'd add as many vegetables as I could find in the house. I also cooked it with tofu. Tofu is the perfect diet helper food when you don't get your protein from meat.
So, we started just eating a lot of rice with vegetables and it was very good, very filling. Then I started trying a lot of other new things. My favorite so far has been spaghetti squash. I think I've mentioned how much I love spaghetti? Spaghetti squash is the best thing I've tasted and it is so low calorie. I feel like I can pig out on spaghetti again. It tastes really good and I recommend you try it. There are about 5 million YouTube videos on how to make it so I won't waste time on it here. I make it and add my spaghetti sauce and it is amazing.
This week I start at the gym. I haven't been to a gym in years but I need to start getting some muscle and doing some toning. I'll give you a rundown in my next blog.
See you next time!
Unfortunately, most lower income people are fat because of the food they can afford to buy. Hamburger Helper, lots of pasta and rice; these are easy and inexpensive meals. Right after I went back to work (I got laid of from a rather high paying job and now work for less that 1/3 of my former salary) we could barely afford to buy food for the two week pay period. We ate very unhealthy food. So I tried to compensate by eating smaller portions. That worked for a bit, but the food was still very unhealthy. I couldn't buy any fresh veggies. It was almost 6 months before I was able to taste a fresh tomato.
Recently, my daughter wanted to try vegetarianism and I wanted to help her so I tried with her. I already loved a great many vegetable dishes and routinely ate soy burgers and veggie burgers. So, it wasn't too hard for me. I started by substituting vegetables in things like spaghetti sauce. Broccoli and zucchini pretty much go well in everything.Then I began to look for other things. Unfortunately, processed food helps a little. There is a lot of sodium in it, but it works ok for me right now. I bought boxes and boxes of rice a roni. Yes, rice a roni. Right before it would finish cooking I'd add as many vegetables as I could find in the house. I also cooked it with tofu. Tofu is the perfect diet helper food when you don't get your protein from meat.
So, we started just eating a lot of rice with vegetables and it was very good, very filling. Then I started trying a lot of other new things. My favorite so far has been spaghetti squash. I think I've mentioned how much I love spaghetti? Spaghetti squash is the best thing I've tasted and it is so low calorie. I feel like I can pig out on spaghetti again. It tastes really good and I recommend you try it. There are about 5 million YouTube videos on how to make it so I won't waste time on it here. I make it and add my spaghetti sauce and it is amazing.
This week I start at the gym. I haven't been to a gym in years but I need to start getting some muscle and doing some toning. I'll give you a rundown in my next blog.
See you next time!
Sunday, August 4, 2013
BIG ONE!!
Today I hit my first milestone. I hit the 25 pound loss! I have lost 25 pounds in two months. It may not sound like much when I have so much to lose, but is is a tremendous achievement for me.
This blog will be all about food. Simply because I love food. One of the hardest things to change is a habit. It can be done and I know that now. I have way too many bad habits, but I have started to put an end to many of them.
I love food. All fat people love food. Even skinny people love food but they have learned how to eat what they love without becoming a weight watchers before picture. The problem with me is that I don't have that gene or discipline or whatever you want to call it that can be satisfied with one bite of something. I have friends that do that. They eat one bite and are completely ok with not eating the rest. One bite for me is just the start of the race to the finish.
But what I want to speak to today is how I am eating right now that has enabled me to lose twenty-five pounds. I have heard for years that eating 6-8 small meals a day is the way to weight loss. I just couldn't understand, my brain could not comprehend, how that works. How could eating 8 times a day make you lose weight? Then suddenly, it hit me. I looked at what I was eating and split it up into small meals. I ate my breakfast at 8 and 10. Then my lunch at 12 and 2 or some sort of fruit if my lunch wasn't big enough to make two small meals. Then dinner around 5 and I'd finish with the rest of the dinner at 7 or another piece of fruit. In between the two dinner meals I'd do my cardio. Suddenly, I was losing weight. It was slow but as I started ramping up the cardio to 30 minutes it went faster. What I slowly began to realize was that I was pretty much full all day. I began to notice that what I used to eat, I could no longer eat. My portions were getting smaller simply because I just couldn't eat all that food any more. I had become one of THOSE people. "Oh, no I can't eat that much!" "Can someone split this with me, I can't eat it all." My brain was turning me into a skinny person.
How had I not known this all along? I won't say it has been easy; but my tastes are changing. I am changing. I am learning that I can still eat a lot of what I want. I am learning how to cook differently and eat differently. I have a lot still to learn, but each day is one more day that I am getting closer to being, physically, who I want to be.
Next blog I will talk about how wonderful vegetarian meals are. I'm not a vegetarian by any means, but I have learned how much I love eating vegetables.
See you next time!
Diva
This blog will be all about food. Simply because I love food. One of the hardest things to change is a habit. It can be done and I know that now. I have way too many bad habits, but I have started to put an end to many of them.
I love food. All fat people love food. Even skinny people love food but they have learned how to eat what they love without becoming a weight watchers before picture. The problem with me is that I don't have that gene or discipline or whatever you want to call it that can be satisfied with one bite of something. I have friends that do that. They eat one bite and are completely ok with not eating the rest. One bite for me is just the start of the race to the finish.
But what I want to speak to today is how I am eating right now that has enabled me to lose twenty-five pounds. I have heard for years that eating 6-8 small meals a day is the way to weight loss. I just couldn't understand, my brain could not comprehend, how that works. How could eating 8 times a day make you lose weight? Then suddenly, it hit me. I looked at what I was eating and split it up into small meals. I ate my breakfast at 8 and 10. Then my lunch at 12 and 2 or some sort of fruit if my lunch wasn't big enough to make two small meals. Then dinner around 5 and I'd finish with the rest of the dinner at 7 or another piece of fruit. In between the two dinner meals I'd do my cardio. Suddenly, I was losing weight. It was slow but as I started ramping up the cardio to 30 minutes it went faster. What I slowly began to realize was that I was pretty much full all day. I began to notice that what I used to eat, I could no longer eat. My portions were getting smaller simply because I just couldn't eat all that food any more. I had become one of THOSE people. "Oh, no I can't eat that much!" "Can someone split this with me, I can't eat it all." My brain was turning me into a skinny person.
How had I not known this all along? I won't say it has been easy; but my tastes are changing. I am changing. I am learning that I can still eat a lot of what I want. I am learning how to cook differently and eat differently. I have a lot still to learn, but each day is one more day that I am getting closer to being, physically, who I want to be.
Next blog I will talk about how wonderful vegetarian meals are. I'm not a vegetarian by any means, but I have learned how much I love eating vegetables.
See you next time!
Diva
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